By Johnny Rico
Federal bureaucrats have outlawed dogshit on hiking trails, and they’ve gone as far as installing dogshit disposal stations on many Bureau of Land Management, Forest Service, and Park Service trailheads. It may seem like excessive regulation to some, but I’m okay with this development. Who wants to step in dogshit when they go hiking? I’m in favor of keeping mean dogs leashed as well. Some hikers think it’s funny to let their mean dogs intimidate fellow hikers, but it’s not. In truth, it’s one of the rudest things you can do.
What really gets my goat is the special treatment horse riders receive from the afore-mentioned, regulation happy bureaucrats. Dog owners must toe the line and carefully scoop up their dog defecation, deposit it in a plastic bag, then carry the offal with them to a designated dogshit disposal station. But horseshit is another story.
Horses are permitted to defecate wherever they please, sometimes surprising an unlucky hiker they’ve just passed on the trail. If you complain, the indignant horse rider will tell you it’s natural. Well so is a morning dump, but that doesn’t mean hikers should be free to evacuate their bowels in the middle of a popular hiking trail.
Horseshit not only has an unsavory odor, it also draws flies. I realize that horse riders have historic significance in the American West, but that doesn’t mean they should be a privileged elite, insulated from the bureaucratic edicts that the rest of us must follow. Horses also present a safety hazard on narrow and/or steep trails. Bicycles are prohibited on many popular footpaths, why not horses too?
If a horse can carry the weight of a grown man, the addition of some type of horseshit collection device is a possible solution. A “turd box” of sorts that could be attached to the horse’s rear end.
I have nothing against traditional western lifestyles, but if you insist on riding your horse on popular hiking trails, is a little bit of respect for the rest of us too much to ask?
Leave a Comment